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In Between Jobs
In Between Jobs is the nineteenth episode of the spin-off Absorbent Days, and the nineteenth episode of season one. In this episode, Patrick becomes desperate to do something with his life, yet when he decides to think, he gets “robbed”, in a sense. Now, he strives to both get a job and find the thief in question. He finds an agency named “In Between the Lines” that helps bring these criminals to justice. Not only did he get the right officers to find the thief, they accept him as a fellow member. SpongeBob thinks this offer is too good to be true, and decides to do some researching. He finds something he both shouldn’t have seen and was not expecting. This episode is paired with the season finale, Not Who They Seam. Characters *Patrick Star *SpongeBob SquarePants *Crowd characters *Theodore/Male Fish 1 (debut) *Carl/Male Fish 2 (debut; cameo) *Jeff (debut) *Geoffrey/Robber 1 (debut) *Male Reporter (debut; cameo) *Phone Operator (over phone; cameo) *Police Officer (over phone; cameo) *Pizza Castle Employee (over phone; cameo) Transcript *''begins with Patrick, sitting on a couch'' *'Patrick': yawns This is tiring...sitting around all day, watching nothing but daytime television programs. *'Male Reporter': We'll be right back after these messages. *'Patrick': ice cream at television screen I'm tired of these television shows having to go to commercial breaks. What's the point, huh? to kitchen; opens refrigerator Just allow me to attempt to drown my sorrows away with food. can of food; chews; swallows Oh yeah. That hits the spot. *'Male Reporter': We're back with Bikini Bottom News. This just in. Two reported thieves are attempting to break into a nearby rock house on Conch Street. *'Patrick': down on couch; chuckles I wonder what goofball would want to break into a rock. There's nothing inside of a rock but a bunch of sand...and furniture, made out of sand. pause I really need to renovate this place. *'Male Reporter': into scene We are here with the alleged victim of the soon-to-be crime. microphone to Patrick Mr. Star, tell the viewing public how you feel about almost being robbed. *'Patrick': chewing Well...swallows I think that...uh...it feels...okay, I guess. frightened Wait! Is that the right answer!? I didn't know this was going to be a test! I hate pop quizzes! to cry *'Male Reporter': sighs And to think I only get paid one hundred fifty thousand dollars a broadcast just to do this. out of scene *''cuts to two fish, using a crowbar to attempt to break into Patrick's rock'' *'Robber 1:' Could you be any slower, Geoffrey? We are trying to commit a crime here, and this place is crawling with heat. car drives by, causing Robber 1 to hold up a sign saying "Nothing suspicious going on here" *'Geoffrey:' on crowbar You try prying up a rock the size of a... *'Patrick:' [camera cuts back to Patrick] Huh? at end of crowbar inside of house Must be part of the house. another bite of canned food; spits out food in realization Wait a minute. I built this house. I don't remember putting that in the house. up It is my civic duty to find out what this thing is. Or is it? I better check out of camera view the house agreement. *''cuts back to the robbers'' *'Geoffrey:' Almost got it. up crowbar; crowbar snaps in half Now I've done it. *'Patrick:' door open Uh...hello there. Are you two tourists? Then, welcome to Bikini Bottom. I will have you know that...whacks Patrick on the head with other end of crowbar; Patrick looks around, daizily *'Geoffrey:' Let's do this! in front of Patrick; begin running into house *'Patrick:' The kelp coral is settling in just fine. down wall of house, slipping the two robbers *'Geoffrey:' into vase stand; vase falls on Geoffrey's head Perfect. Let's take the treasure and go! I think we got more than we bargained for. *'Robber 1:' Got it! begins to sprint out of house; continues slipping on hill] Oh no! I can't make it! out hand I can't make it, Geoffrey. Go on without me. I'm a goner. *'Geoffrey:' Uh...Jeff. cuts out to reveal Jeff over the hill, outside of the house You're already outside. *'Patrick:' conscious Not if I have anything to say about it! Or...do...about it. to run toward robbers *'Jeff:' Let's get out of here while the...well...getting out of here is still clear. *'Geoffrey:' You really need to work on your robbery terms. out hands in explanation You say: "let's book it". You don't say... *'Jeff:' Hate to interrupt the study session, but points to Patrick he's gaining on us! *'Geoffrey:' rock; slams rock down before Patrick reaches them That was a close one. Now let's book it! out hands in explanation Do you see how much sense it makes? All you have to do is... *'Jeff:' Now I see why they kicked you out of that elementary school. *'Geoffrey:' Good thing they did, or else I wouldn't have acquired such a priceless vause. up vause; vause breaks down into a pile of sand He gave us the slip! Do you see what I just did there? Forget it! I'm not leaving without something valuable to hand to the man! up crowbar Open up the door, fool! We've got a few words for you! up crowbar menacingly *'Police Officer:' up Hey! What are you doing with that thing? at partner in car What do you call that thing, Josh? A...uh...stand? A...uh...something. I don't... *'Josh:' I don't know. It looks familar, though. It looks like a chin A...uh...oh yeah! A crowbar! *'Police Officer:' Oh yeah! back at Geoffrey What are you doing with that...uh...? reveals Jeff and Geoffrey, already vanished Why do all of the criminals get away? police car away *''cuts back to Patrick, examining the stand that the vause was on'' *'Patrick:' around the stand, observantly Hmm...hmm...hmm...I think I see the problem the here. up finger It's either because the robbers stole my perfectly good vause...or I renovated this place in my sleep! Obviously, the answer's clear. onto couch I really need to sleep more then. canned food Wait a minute! I got SpongeBob to hynoptize me from sleep-renovating! laughs Man, was he angry when I renovated his place. whispers I was doing him more of a favor. *'News Reporter:' I am back with the alleged victim of a robbery. This is Mr. Patrick Star, a pink starfish who... *'Patrick:' rock; throws reporter out of house I am done with the social media! rock shut You know what?! I think I've been robbed! I should call...uh...what's that number I should call? Is it 955 or is it 991. shoulders Eh. I'll just call Pizza Castle. Pizza Castle *'Employee:' on other line Pizza Castle. *'Patrick:' Hey, Luke. It's Patrick again. *'Employee:' Oh, okay. *'Phone Operator:' Redirecting you to Bikini Bottom Police Department. *'Patrick:' Hello? Police? *'Police Officer:' Oh...it's Patrick...again. Should I hang up now or wait until your total speech of stupidity is over with. *'Patrick:' Stop using words I don't understand. I don't have time for nonsense! My house has just been robbed by two delegates! *'Police Officer:' Don't you mean delinquents? *'Patrick:' Why do you keep using words I don't understand?! dial tone Are you there? up Must have fallen asleep. Some people just can't help themselves. on couch; falls asleep; wakes up abruptly I can't sleep at a time like this! eyes Maybe five more minutes. Sleep now, justice later. snores *''cuts to Patrick, walking down the street with SpongeBob'' *'SpongeBob:' Wow, Pat. I'm really sorry that happened. *'Patrick:' It's cool...for now. I'll get the police for hanging up on me one of these weekends. *'SpongeBob:' out hands But why did you need to call the police? What happened? *'Patrick:' Oh, that? hands in "pish-posh" motion I got robbed. Two delegates broke into my house and stole one of my vauses! *'SpongeBob:' Don't you mean delinquents, Patrick? *'Patrick:' SpongeBob menacingly Do you work for the police station, SpongeBob? Hmm? in closer Hmm? Hmm? eye out Hmmmmm? *'SpongeBob:' Uh...noooo. Patrick's eye back to original length But I think those guys do. to large building to their right *'Patrick:' menacingly Let's take a look, then. toward building with an eye stuck out *'SpongeBob:' eye out and walks toward building as well Right behind you, Patrick. *''cuts to the interior of the building; hundreds of fish are running rampid in the building; papers are flying around in correspondence to the rushing; SpongeBob and Patrick enter through the door'' *'SpongeBob:' Whoa, this place is...huge. in and looks around I think Sandy's treedome could fit into this place. *'Patrick:' I don't see the point in bringing up that...chipmunk...I think. Right now, I want justice and I want it now. fist in one hand Or maybe later. Later's good too. *'SpongeBob:' to a fish, dressed up in expensive dress clothing; fish is in office on other side of hallway I think that fish over there could help us. slices SpongeBob's fingernail I wouldn't risk it though, buddy. ''behind Patrick This paper is so tough, I bet it can slice through steel.'' *'Patrick:' head to SpongeBob Oh, come on, SpongeBob! body; holds out hand If we're not going to bring those two wrongdoers to justice, then who is? *'SpongeBob:' The...police? *'Patrick:' Wrong. SpongeBob's arm We're going to go into that office and speak to that fish...even if it kills us. *'SpongeBob:' Kills? *'Patrick:' scoffs Keep up with the times, SpongeBob. to clock; points to clock Everyone knows that when the bell tolls four, the to SpongeBob crowd comes in. *'SpongeBob:' worried What crowd? *'Patrick:' Wait for it. Wait for it. Six, nine, one. SpongeBob *''large crowd of fish storms the hallway, blocking visibility to zero; papers are flying even more rapidly, and a large chatter fills the room'' *'SpongeBob:' gets off of SpongeBob I'm sure it's not that bad. I think we can get by a crowd of nematodes, Patrick. walking toward crowd; looks back at Patrick Aren't you coming, buddy? *'Patrick:' I'm not going in there. I could lose a limb! *'SpongeBob:' But, you'll just grow it right back. *'Patrick:' up, bravely You're right. zooms to Patrick's face I may be able to regrow my lost appendeges, but I can't get back that priceless vase. SpongeBob and begins charging toward the crowd Let's do this! *'SpongeBob:' What did I get myself into? *''and SpongeBob penetrate the crowd; the two are then repeatedly brought back into the crowd whenever they try to escape or gasp for air'' *'SpongeBob:' to surface It was...back in nice...to surface knowing you, Pa...back in *'Patrick:' No! into crowd; grabs SpongeBob; camera pans down to Patrick, holding SpongeBob in arms, being carried by the crowd I get us out of here, buddy. It's going to be risky, but I know just what to do! door made of nematodes; exits calmly and closes the nematode door; puts down SpongeBob *'SpongeBob:' up What happened, Patrick? *'Patrick:' With what? *'Male Fish 1:' out of office Can I help you two with something? *'Patrick:' plainly Not that I would know of. *'SpongeBob:' in front of Patrick I think what my friend here is trying to say is... *'Male Fish 1:' I think...up SpongeBob the pink one can answer for himself. SpongeBob into crowd As you were saying, Mr. Star. *'Patrick:' How do you know my name? Or is that my name? *'Male Fish 1:' laughs What a kidder. hand on Patrick's back So...what brings you here, Mr. Star? *'Patrick:' thinks Uh...I don't know. *'Male Fish 1:' calmly Oh, well then...yells get out of me building! *'Patrick:' Okay, okay. Fine. Fine. to vending machine Can I at least get something from that thingy over there? *'Male Fish 1:' Sorry, sir. That vending machine is only for paying customers. *'Patrick:' into pocket; pulls out hand; opens up hand to reveal emptyness How much does this get me? *'Male Fish 1:' Water doesn't get you anything, pinky. *'Patrick:' scoffs Now I have to pay to show you water? into pocket You're ringing me dry here, Sally. *'Male Fish 1:' Sally?! *''cuts to Patrick, walking out of the building, slowly'' *'Patrick:' Now how am I going to ge!t justice? It's not like the answer's going to whack me in the back. *'SpongeBob:' offscreen Patrick, look out for my absorbant body! in Patrick's stomach *'Patrick:' belly He he he. That tickles...again. I guess it wasn't my back. It was my...at SpongeBob Whoa. You look...like you've been thrown into the crowd. *'SpongeBob:' camera reveals SpongeBob; appears to have lost his shoes and one of his socks and his shirt is ripped I was, Patrick. up fist Curse you, businessman! I hope I get to do the same to you some day! *'Patrick:' grumbles I'm still hungry, though, SpongeBob. *'SpongeBob:' Oh, well, I picked up a little something while I was being stuffed inside of the vending machine by two teenage fish. I didn't know they allowed teens to work here. *'Patrick:' I would have guessed otherwise with that sign-dilly up there. to sign that says "No fish under twenty-one" *'SpongeBob:' Hmm...well here's the...uh...candy bar. Whatever it is. It might be chocolate. Or coral, or... *'Patrick:' tongue out; wraps tongue around candy bar wrapper; places candy bar in mouth You can really taste...the nutrients. Nutrients?! the candy bar I wasn't wanting a health bar. floating wrapper What's this? *'SpongeBob:' eye; blows on eyes; rubs with elbowl; places back into socket Let me take a look at that, Patrick. wrapper Robber's Candy: the candy that robs you of the taste of good candy. *'Patrick:' Rob?! back into building I know why I am here now! by security guards *'Male Fish 1:' Keep him down! up I need to talk with him. to Patrick Why did you come back, Mr. Star? I'm in the middle of a very important meeting. *'Male Fish 2:' of office; pause Yeah. *'SpongeBob:' Sorry about this, Mr...uh...fish sir, but Patrick here just wants justice. *'Male Fish 1:' Let me guess. He stole his own food? security guards begin laughing *'Patrick:' up I'll have you know that only happened once. And no, it was not just an hour ago. Look, that doesn't matter right now! I had a nice vase! A...uh...sand-colored vase, sitting right in my house. Now, two delegates stole it...right from me! *'Male Fish 1:' Don't you mean...? Never mind. So, you're wanting to sue for a stolen vase? *'Patrick:' It was a very nice and...somewhat expensive vase at that. It costs me zero dollars and zero cents. *'Male Fish 1:' whispers Why do they all have to be idiots? aloud If justice is what you seek, then take it up with the police. to office *'Patrick:' Then, why does the sign that you're holding say "Palace"? *'Male Fish 1:' to be taking down sign that says "Police" Oh, coral sticks. Fine! Just fine! If justice is what you seek, then why don't you take it up with the nearest police station. *'Patrick:' But the sign behind me says that... *'Male Fish 1:' Forget the signs! to self What are you doing, Theodore?! Do you want to lose your job? sighs You say that your worthless vase was stolen by some robbers, huh? Well, don't you worry a hair on your head, Mr. Star. *'Patrick:' Actually I'm... *'Theodore:' hand of Patrick's back Our team of agents will not rest until we bring criminals like these to justice! *'Male Fish 2:' snoring Sleeping on the job. snores Sleeping on the job. *'Theodore:' Carl! Carl Have you caught the criminal that has been smuggling kelp into illegal parts of town? *'Carl:' Who? *'Theodore:' Patrick Please ignore him. with Patrick into a secret room Step in here, Mr. Patrick. This room is tippity-top whispering secret. It's so secret, that even the secrets have secrets. *'Patrick:' whispering So, when you say tippity-top, do you mean with sugar on top or...? *'Theodore:' Sure! Whatever! whispers Don't tell anyone about this room! *'SpongeBob:' back in chair Hey there, Patrick. *'Patrick:' on phone Hey, SpongeBob! Theodore Sorry, Theo-raptor. I couldn't hear you over me telling Squidward about this tippity-top secret room. *'Theodore:' Squidward? Then how did he get in here? *'SpongeBob:' You left the door open. to open door *'Theodore:' SpongeBob out of door Why do they always make me do that? *'Patrick:' to computer screen with the criminals on the screen How do you guys know the two delegates that broke into my house? *'Theodore:' Because...Mr. Star, on table we are the ocean-renowned company "In Between the Lines"! *'Patrck:' hands up Yeah! Between the lines! What's that? *'Theodore:' Patrick's arms down It's everything. to screen It's from finding criminals like Jeff and Geoffrey. on light, revealing a long hallway of prison cells Taking those criminals and placing them in one of these prison cells...to Patrick to making the victim feel as safe...as fish-anly possible. *'Patrick:' Does it count as being a criminal if you stole a candy bar from the vending machine? *'Theodore:' in shock; laughs That's funny. For a second there, I thought you were serious. *'Patrick:' laughing with Theodore Yeah. That was pretty funny. But, seriously, I...cuts to Patrick, walking out of the building, with his head down *''cuts to Patrick, in his rock'' *'Patrick:' through channels No. No. Days episode "Regeneration Sensation" appears on the television Been there, done that. channel flipping *'SpongeBob:' in through rock Hey, Patrick. What are you doing? *'Patrick:' I don't know. Being bored, I guess. All I need is for someone to tell me what boredom is. For now, I'm going to say that I have nothing to do and that I'm not having fun. *'SpongeBob:' But, Patrick...you know what. Never mind. How's the case going? on couch *'Patrick:' What case? Don't you mean my vase? back It's right...hey! My vase has been stolen! *'SpongeBob:' Oh, you kidder...whispers I hope. aloud What did that Theodork guy say about the two delinquents? *'Patrick:' Over the phone, eyes it sounded like he said that the criminals are still out there, yet they are trying their vest to find them. *'SpongeBob:' Don't you mean "best" to find them? *'Patrick: '''Sure. Whatever. *'SpongeBob: self ''Shouldn't they have found the criminals by now? Something just doesn't seem right here. I'll be right back, Patrick. *'Patrick: 'Take your time, SpongeBob. I got a call from "In Between the...Circles". They're hiring me as one of their own. *'SpongeBob: 'That's great, Patrick. ''self ''Or is it? I must know for sure. *cuts to SpongeBob, searching his computer'' *'SpongeBob: '''I just don't get it. Why would they hire Patrick? He's the victim of the crime. It just doesn't make any sense. *'Gary: ''to computer screen Meow meow ma-meow? *'SpongeBob: No, that's a just a news report on how throws hands up ''great the agency is...closer'' and how it's a team of...criminals? "Reportedly, the cells found in the tippity-top secret room are revealed to be empty for a reason"?! Oh no! Patrick's going to be joining an agency of convicts! I have to stop him! up; stopped by Geoffrey *'Geoffrey: '''You're not going anywhere, square dude! *cuts to Patrick, skipping to "In Between the Lines"; enters through front door'' *'Patrick: '''I'm here to perform my...uh...duties! ''chuckles ''Duties. I don't know why that's funny. *'Theodore: 'Good news, Patrick! ''up Jeff ''We caught Jeff! That's one more convict out from the streets ''whispers ''and safe in this agency. ''aloud ''Now where's that Geoffrey? ''to self ''As if I didn't all ready know. *'Patrick: 'I may not be able to comprehend what that...uh...whisper was, but I think you said "safe in this ah-gin-see". ''around; takes a closer look at crowd; sees shackles and some fish wearing striped suits ''Are these...criminals? *'Theodore: 'You looked stressed, Mr. Star. Come...take a seat. *'SpongeBob: ''in through door Don't Patrick! Don't take this job with all of these criminals! I want you to stay here, in a life of no crime! *'Geoffrey: into building ''Get back here! *'Theodore: 'It's too late, SpongeBob! There's no way you can stop all of us together! *'Patrick: ''at clock You may be right about us not being able to stop you...but what about them? ''tolls four o'clock; the crowd takes down Theodore and the other criminals *'SpongeBob: '''You saved us, Patrick! You're going to be famous! *'Male Reporter: '''in ''That's right! Mr. Star, how does it feel to be a celebrity? *'Patrick: 'Yep. I'm still done with the media delegates. *'Male Reporter: 'Don't you mean delinquents? *'Patrick: 'Stop using words I don't understand! *ends'' Category:Absorbent Days Category:Absorbent Days Episodes: Season One Category:Absorbent Days Episodes Category:Episodes Category:Templates Category:2013 Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts